My worries are gone with my last cigarette,
I meet every morning alone in my bed,
Cold evenings I spend with a glass of fruit wine
And it is the life that is really mine.

They say I am lonely, I'm happy with it,
It's better than life for a perfect deceit.
I'm only the one who I wanted to be,
A ghost of love is no danger to me.

The ones who relate to this hopeful verse,
Don't grieve for a thing that has never been yours!
Love comes to us all in a different guise,
Sometimes it is not such a lucky surprise.

If love turned your world into ruins and shards,
And broke all your plans like a house of cards,
You'll find your true self in some beautiful art,
A new kind of love will recover your heart.

It's love to yourself and the things you create,
To freedom and life. Just believe me and wait!
Your solitude helps you discover your pride,
You'll fight all your fears and put them aside.

What's loneliness? Freedom and space for reflection,
A vague shade of sadness that lurks and then fades,
A challenge to move in your own direction,
To be independent, to be unafraid.

But making your way you see someone who's farther
And feel like they've stolen a secret from you,
You try to catch up with this dangerous other
And learn that the secret is no way true.

You think you can read any thought of a stranger
Who makes you move forward, determined and fast,
And then you discover it's such a big danger -
Attraction, devotion... How long will it last?

Again it will lead to heartbreak and despair,
It's time to escape, slow down the pace
Until you're sure that nobody's there
And you can indulge in your lonely days.

Hello to you from the gray gloomy city,
Where crowds unconsciously worship despair,
Indulging in dangers of constant self-pity
With naive belief in the world's being fair.

They have no trust in a man's inner power,
And fortitude sounds like something unknown.
They have no poets, just ones of an hour,
Who drown at once in the thoughts of their own.

With greed they consume plain illusions for dinner,
And dress them with lies when they serve the new dishes
To those so-called 'pathological sinners'
Who find someone else's delusions delicious.

They have Friday liter-mates rather than friends
To mark that the week of no favor is ending,
But even with glasses of spirits in hands
They look worse than misery. Are they pretending?

I wish a had a time machine
To see the younger me from distance
And watch those years on the screen,
My beautiful yet blind existence.

I'd maybe change a thing or two
And see what happens in my travel,
Forgotten dreams could well come true,
I've got a puzzle to unravel.

The best of me would stay the same,
The same two wings would take me higher
To easy happiness and fame.
I'd watch this story and admire.

There's no one else I would become,
But this long way could be more pleasant.
I needed time, life gave me some
And then I got my precious present.

It's wisdom coming from the heart,
It comes along with intuition.
I'm ready for another start
And for a new important mission.

Fall asleep to the falling rain,
Listen to raindrops drumming,
Heaven cries for the earthly pain,
New thunderstorms are coming.

See the lightning above the town
Striking like skies are breaking,
Crystal tears are falling down,
Eyes of the world are aching.

Heaven cries for the living dead,
Trying to warn the living
Or appease their pain instead,
Singing to all the grieving.

Will the rainbow ever shine,
Will all the colors show?
Should we trust every heaven's sign?
Guess we will never know.

It storms, but I'm going on,
The best ever years are gone,
Another milestone's behind,
I keep all its lessons in mind.

When haunted by shades of regret,
I feel imperceptible fret,
They paint me what once could be mine
Then sink in a bottle of wine.

I cannot erase my mistakes,
Undo them whatever it takes,
I wouldn't get back if I could,
Remorse will not do me much good.

I'm living between the extremes,
Preferring one aim to all dreams,
I carved my true self out of ice
That turned into stone by surprise.

It's just a new stage of my youth
And since I discovered my truth
I'll stay sober-blooded and smart
And get only younger at heart.

I'm riding the cloud of bright blanket dreams,
The coconut smoke entwines with the mist,
The potion of madness in violet streams
Is carving the urge that I cannot resist.

The mysteries find me still lying in bed,
Enjoying the pleasures of drunken grapefruit.
Just several gulps, and a room painted red
Will turn to a princess' incredible suit.

I'm a swift errand girl of my fortunate fate,
When my fantasies leak, the reality hides
In the weirdest world I could ever create
With my eyes tightly shut, with my heart as a guide.

A rose with sharp yet invisible thorns
Will bloom in my gardens in endless July -
The country of fairies and pink unicorns
Beneath the enchanting and welcoming sky.

I trust in the might of the element Earth,
However, the Air attracts me much more.
I'm hovering free, and I feel the rebirth.
This madness is tempting like never before.

I'm a swift errand girl of my fortunate fate,
When my fantasies leak, the reality hides
In the weirdest world I could ever create
With my eyes tightly shut, with my heart as a guide.

I giggle and slap the reality's face,
I found salvation in madness' embrace.

I'm a swift errand girl of my fortunate fate,
When my fantasies leak, the reality hides
In the weirdest world I could ever create
With my eyes tightly shut, with my heart as a guide.

I sleep with my cat in my warm king-size bed
Men have no access to. It's driving them mad.
Those flowers, candles and diamond rings
Just won't make me happy or give me new wings.

It's only my freedom that I'll ever need,
My fame and success are sufficient indeed.
I won't play a game with my freedom at stake,
I've already tried it and it's my mistake.

I sleep like a princess till late afternoon
And true inspiration will come with the moon,
I'm free to create what I want, anywhen,
I'm fine with my papers, some wine and a pen.

The princess won't dream of becoming a queen:
I'll do anything to escape the routine.
If I am alone, the kingdom's all mine,
It's built with a pen and a bottle of wine.

The pleasure to speak is my lost privilege,
And now insanity dwells on a page,
However, it's changing the color in days,
Revealing the truth my white pencil portrays.

But I'm getting sick of the poetess' fate,
I only enliven the worlds your create,
Denying the myths you don't want to believe,
Or perpetuate every side of my grief.

Today it's triangular, soon to be square,
Or even linear, in case you are there,
You skillfully play with my changeable mood,
I'd steal such a talent from you if I could.

I paint the reality, live in a dream,
Duality kills me, I just want to scream,
I'll find the salvation when holding you close
I'll speak of my feelings and keep them in prose.

I used to compare myself with a fire,
So sudden, so restless, so hard to predict -
A definite danger from miles to admire,
The gamut of colors one couldn't depict.

The flame is extinguished. The reason is clear -
I crave for love fuel and only one match.
I'm stronger than every invisible tear
That turns to a raindrop. I'll start from a scratch.

I'll be a good guide for my soulmates-strangers,
A guard for the lost and the ones of this kind,
For anything frail I'll reveal only danger...
However, a match is not easy to find.

I am breaking the vast glassy surface of make-believe seas,
As the moonlight is cutting the throat of scarlet sunrise,
I am screaming my heart out loud, I need to release
All my silently bitter emotions. I pray to the skies
To remain in this world for a lifetime and ruin it then,
In this perfect small drunken creation, in my fairytale,
In the land that's beyond now and never, some time and nowhen
And indulge in the smell of tranquility I can inhale,
Where the past in a twist with the present and future unknown
Is revealed in the blossom of orchids and blue camomiles,
Mighty lightnings of fate never strike in this land of my own,
In this place I'm the only survivor. I'll stay for a while,
Till you come to my shelter and sing me a love serenade,
As you own the key to the gates, and the key is my heart,
First you gift me a dream, then you steal it from me, then you fade,
And I wake. It's another new day. It's another new start.

The times of the rhyming sensations are ceased,
It's no surprise evil love has deceased -
My heart is a chamber with limited space,
Indifference got all my feelings erased.

Frail fibre is used to the memories' blade,
My thirst for your love is about to fade,
Deceiving myself is revealing the truth,
The pain of desire is easy to soothe.

Two opposite planets, two opposite spheres,
Both ruled by denying just being sincere
Will never be one due to different laws.
I have to accept it the way that it goes.

Sincerity stands for the lack of control,
And love never even existed at all.
So what does my poetry speak of, indeed?
Old scars are deprived of the pleasure to bleed.

What is time? A restless wheel
That will never cease to roll,
It may trick you, it may heal,
It can build a stone wall
Or a bridge between two sides,
Two big worlds of now and then,
Time is force and it decides
Where changes come and when.
I just wish I could deceive
Mighty time and change its speed,
Freeze it when I have to leave
Anyone I ever need,
Make it faster when the day
Seems much longer than the night,
Help this winter turn to May,
Chase the weeks in their flight.
But the clock will never lie
And my magic spell won't do,
Time's eternal - feelings die,
Life is evanescent, too.

People, this world isn't only for love,
Why do you worship it? Stop it! Enough!
It is a tale for a plain philistine,
Singing an ode to Saint Valentine.

It's everywhere: in books, on the screen,
Sometimes it's stupid and sometimes - obscene,
Making the loners sad to the core;
Thoughtless romantics are asking for more.

Love's a contagious long-lasting disease,
It can destroy your ambitions with ease,
It is a game, both players can lose,
It's an illusion. Well, what do you choose?

Many small joys fill your everyday life,
Heal from this fever, be ready to dive
Into the sea that you've got to explore:
Love is a moment and life is much more.

I'm bitter and beautiful, Ria by name,
I challenge my dreams in a dangerous game,
I'm less than a lover yet more than a friend,
A difficult riddle for you till the end.

A poet of April, a daughter of spring,
I'm meant to be happy, I'm happy to sing,
My weapon is beauty, my word is a thorn,
I've changed many parts since the day I was born.

My life gave me wings and I'm learning to fly
To lands of wild orchids and endless July,
My heart has been changing its color and shape,
I'm lost a maze, but I'll find the escape.

I'm searching for the younger me,
Together we'll survive.
The person that I used to be
Has ruined all my life.

I wish she helped me understand
What's hidden in the lies,
What demon forced her to pretend
And play a lover twice.

I wish she had a chance to know
One story of heartbreak
Is better than quick love on show,
Her hero was a fake.

I'm writing to the younger me,
The letters may be lost,
But words will find the addressee
One day at any cost.

"Remember, we were seventeen
And you could love despite
The distance, waiting and routine,
And that's your secret might.

You talked to loved ones in your dreams,
You saw a secret sign,
And that was love beyond extremes,
Sincere and pristine.

Embraces on the dirty floor
At late December nights,
One kiss that made you long for more
And blurry city lights...

Remember it... what have you done?
You've left it all behind.
I could be you, we could be one,
But I'm a different kind".

I wish the butterfly effect
Could ever work for me,
I'd like to see the life I wrecked,
The person I could be.

I'd be much wiser, change my mind
And play the magic chess,
I'd live the days I left behind
Another way, I guess.

I would erase my past mistakes...
Or make them even worse?
I'd just forget how much it aches
And never feel remorse.

What if..? What could it all have been?
The answer is unknown.
I see the pictures on the screen
My swollen mind has drawn.

I'm suffocated by regret,
This life's not truly mine,
I'd fall asleep and just forget,
Dissolve it all in wine.

I'd write a letter to the past,
Replay the fatal game.
But it's too late... I'll live at last,
I'll get my luck and fame.

This life is not a piece of cake,
Too much has happened by mistake,
But think what life is all about:
It's not that hard to figure out.

It's such a mix of joy and pain,
Its magic drives us all insane,
It's like a puzzle you create
From moments you perpetuate.

A starry midnight on the shore,
A song you never heard before,
A perfect day, a lover's kiss -
It's all for you to reminisce.

It is all yours and you decide
What makes the voice so deep inside
Sing ardently of endless spring
And life that could be anything.

I search for fame and recognition,
I leave attraction far behind,
I only trust my intuition,
A duet of my heart and mind.

I play with every deep emotion
And paint it in its own shade,
My red regret and blue devotion
Will take a toll on me and fade.

The day and night are changing places,
The gardens bloom all year round,
The northern winds erase my traces
From this eternal moonlit ground.

It's just my world, so full of beauty,
It melts the winter in my heart
And gives me force. It is my duty
To never let it fall apart.

I love you so much, mommy my dear!
You are the best and expensive,
You came as if from Heaven,
Warm your hands than the sun of May!
Mama, Oh, Mama! You're my light in the window!
Mommy, Mama, like the road you're to me!
Your beautiful voice will calm me,
Your eyes my heart will open.
Your gentle hands a hug tigh me,
All because of love!

I love you, my mother,
I love you, my sister,
I love you, my brother,
I love you, grandma!
I love you, my father,
I love you, my ancle,
I love you, my cousin,
I love you, grandfa!

You just say you will always be there
When I need you right here with me;
I am trapped in the wave of despair,
Dreams escape to the boundless sea.

I indulge in the sense of December,
In the cinnamon scent I inhale;
This tranquility makes me remember
My old sweet Scandinavian tale.

It's the voice of Suomi that's calling
My still frozen heart to the North,
As the wheel of my fortune keeps rolling,
It is time to live on and move forth.

I'll keep moving in every direction
I can change by my own free will;
On my way to complete resurrection
I'm the one at the steering wheel.

If I dare to change your embraces
To Norwegian winter's caress,
Will the blizzard conceal all the traces?
I'll be loving you, nevertheless.

I will meet you nowhen and nowhere,
In the depth of the boundless sea;
In my dreams you will always be there,
And my memories - here with me.

I'd sell my heart in paperback,
In verses for perverts to read.
The crimson lines look good on black,
Just like the world behind my lids.

For crimson is my poisoned blood
You'd never want to mix with yours,
For black is my denying heart
That's stained with lies and dead remorse.

Erase my love and drain my mind
Until my memory is void,
I want to be completely blind
To every trifle I enjoyed.

Your gentle touch is like a burn -
I play pretend I'm fine with heat.
I've reached the point of no return,
I find my peace in self-deceit.

Tomorrow's Exceptional Hero

Dissolve all your pride in your misery, guys!
It's only your pathos that shines in your eyes.
Your words are important just devil knows where,
Your mirth in the voice is a sign of despair.
You've never seen life, as you've been colorblind;
It's painted by poets in all undertones
While you label things just as black or as white.
Your black is opposed to the world of your own.
If difference frightens you, you're the crowd,
There's nothing your hopeless days are about.
You're models of somebody's system, you're clones,
You're always together, forever alone.

The crowd is such a deceptive protection,
The crowd is moving in just one direction.
It's moving nowhere, the speed's minus zero.
It's our tomorrow's exceptional hero!

The sun in your world still can warm you at night,
But nothing will ever be fucking all right!
Work, family, pub, sleep... Then count to ten -
You'll see the same picture again and again.
You can't change the rules, so you change decorations,
You're frightened of getting to your one true core.
You, slaves, could be kings - you are human creations,
By concept a bit of a muse and a whore,
A thinker, a painter, a soul to admire
As well as a wreck, a destroyer, a liar,
An actor sometimes, or the truth with a guile -
Still better than your hypocritical smile!
Your credo is envy, the reason you fail.
Our world is a pedestal, yours is a jail.

The crowd is such a deceptive protection,
The crowd is moving in just one direction.
It's moving nowhere, the speed's minus zero.
It's our tomorrow's exceptional hero!
Is it?